Finding balance

Being ok with not being ok and figuring out the path forward

Last week I wrote about how it had been a rough week for me. Some of you reached out to see how I was doing (thank you so much, by the way), and while I appreciate that, it’s not why I say these things out loud.

The beginning of this week was no better. And not just for me, but I was talking to many of my female - and some of my male - friends who were struggling with the societal burdens that seemed heavier by the day. Frustrated that others were telling them that their exhaustion, chosen life path, or decisions weren’t valid or not as “bad” as theirs. Just plain tired but guilty for feeling that way because weren’t the holidays supposed to be a break? Exasperated because they wanted some advice and wisdom from those who had gone through things before but weren’t finding it.

I'm sorry for those who come here just for the tech analysis. That’s not what this week’s newsletter is about. So I’m ok if you want to stop reading or skip down to the what I’m reading section. However, I encourage you to bear with me.

When I started writing this newsletter, I found that my weekly topics would come to me over the week. My ideas would change and evolve, but there would come a point where I just knew what I wanted to write on. All week the signs were pointing to me writing this versus the latest TikTok controversy, the January 6th social media report, the SCOTUS briefs, or any of the other major things (though we will get back to those.)

This week I want to talk about normalizing talking out loud when things are hard and giving ourselves and others grace and compassion when you know you have all these things on your to-do list to do, but you just can’t seem to concentrate.

I suffer from anxiety. I’ve not been clinically diagnosed, but all the signs are there. My anxiety hasn’t been this bad these last two weeks since the really bad Facebook days of Cambridge Analytica and late 2019/early 2020.

I knew I needed to talk to someone. Over the years, I’ve tried different forms of support. Traditional therapy doesn’t work for me. Just feels awkward. Life and executive coaches have worked much better for me. They’ve taught me different frameworks to better understand myself and those around me. I talked about some of those in my piece about how I mapped out my Facebook journey. Vertical development has helped me a TON in understanding my leadership style as well as others.

But there’s something else that I’ve found to be a huge help as of late - and don’t laugh (though I know some of you will think I’m crazy) - is the practice of tarot, meditation, spirituality, and energy healing.

My friend Sarah sent me this Modern Witch deck when I left Facebook. I played around with it from time to time. I found the cards helped me to look at things differently. I still can’t believe when the cards follow the energy that any person is feeling.

At the beginning of this year, another friend told me about a woman using tarot to help her think through things. I thought maybe it was time to have a professional do my reading and see if I liked it. She does year-ahead readings, so I booked a session for Tuesday.

Now the first thing they teach you is that the cards don’t tell you what you already know. And my reading’s big message for me and this year was - you know what you want to do, it’s the right thing to do, do it.

There’s much more to it, but that’s the general gist. It sounds simple enough, but hearing her talk about the meanings of the different cards for each month, along with some other insights, was so freaking helpful. She also told me about setting intentions during a new moon (which is happening right now). I did that this afternoon to put my wishes into the universe. 

Why in the world am I sharing all of this? I’m sharing this because I think we need to normalize being ok to tell people when we aren’t feeling ok. We need to normalize that there are many different ways to work through things, and it can take a while to figure out what works for you. I think we need to give ourselves more grace when we aren’t feeling ok or when we’re feeling frustrated, angry, sad - whatever it might be. We always feel so much pressure to look pulled together and put our best foot forward that it can be lonely when you think you are alone in what you are going through.

It’s been a tough end to 2022 and a tough start to 2023. It seems like I’m meeting folks who’ve been laid off every week. I’m worried about my revenue stream as an independent consultant. I’m scared to launch a paid version of this newsletter, to talk about more than just tech issues or write my damn book because what if no one cares what I have to say?

Now, my head knows that’s not true. Doesn’t stop the feelings, though. And sometimes, the answer isn’t therapy or drugs. Sometimes it’s the witches in your life who help you find another way to find balance.

PS: Please contact me to learn more about how I’m using tarot and other spiritual tools. I’m happy to share more though I’m still a beginner in all of this. Also, I am here if you feel down, unsure, stuck, or just want someone to talk to.

What I’m Reading

• Stuff: Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's full resignation speech 

• Forbes: TikTok’s Secret ‘Heating’ Button Can Make Anyone Go Viral 

• New York Times: Supreme Court Poised to Reconsider Key Tenets of Online Speech - The New York Times 

• Washington Post: A font feud brews after State Dept. picks Calibri over Times New Roman 

• New York Times: GOP in Talks With Networks About Debates, and Even CNN Is Included 

• Axios: How It Happened on Apple Podcasts: Musk and Twitter 

• NBC News: Donald Trump prepares for his return to Facebook and Twitter 

• WSJ: Google Didn’t Show Bias in Filtering Campaign-Ad Pitches, FEC Says

• Tech Policy Press: Social Media & the January 6th Attack 

• Edelman: 2023 Edelman Trust Barometer 

• Politico: Billions at stake as online fundraising practices turn off voters

• WSJ: TikTok Tries to Win Allies in the U.S. With More Transparency

• Tech Policy Press: Election Disinformation and the Violence in Brazil 

• The Sunday Show Podcast: Examining the Impact of Internet Research Agency Tweets in the 2016 U.S. Election - The Sunday Show 

• The Sunday Show Podcast: Election Disinformation and the Violence in Brazil on Spotify 

• Cory Doctorow: End-to-End. Forthcoming in the March, 2023 issue of… 

Think Tanks/Academia/Other

• CCIA: Re: HB 320 - "Relative to free speech in interactive computer services." (Oppose)

• New America: An Assessment of Variation in National Processes of Defining and Designating Terrorist Groups 

• USAID Request for Information: Advancing Digital Democracy

Companies

• TikTok: TikTok's state-affiliated media policy 

• Meta: Defending Our Ability to Protect and Empower People on our Apps 

Jobs Board

• Institute for Rebooting Social Media: Governance in Online Speech Leadership Series: Apply today!

• Etsy: Senior Manager, Offensive Content

• Etsy: Senior Manager, Legal Response & Enforcement

• USAID: Digital Technology and Civic Activism Advisor

Calendar

• Topics to keep an eye on:
  

  • Facebook 2020 election research (Still happening! Watch the panel with the academics involved at the Knight Informed Conference)

  • Senate & House hearings, markups, and potential votes

  • TV shows about Facebook - Doomsday Machine and second season of Super Pumped

• January 2023 - Czech Republic Election

• January 7: Meta/Trump Decision

• January 16-20: Davos - World Economic Forum

• February 5, 2023 - Cyprus Election

• Week of February 6, 2023 – Potential House hearing on Twitter/Biden Laptop

• February 7, 2023 - State of the Union

• February 16, 2023 - Platforms have to announce EU numbers to comply with DSA

• February 21, 2023 - SCOTUS hears Gonzalez v Google

• February 22, 2023 - SCOTUS hears Twitter v. Taamneh 

• February 23, 2023 - Nigeria Election

• Feb 23, 2023 - Meta response to cross check due

• February 23 - 24: Designing Technology for Social Cohesion

• February 2023 - Djibouti Election

• February 2023 - Monaco Election

• March 1, 2023 - All Tech is Human: Tech & Democracy: A Better Tech Future Summit

• March 5, 2023 - Estonia Election

• March 10 - 19: SXSW (Here’s the panel I’ll be on!)

• March 20 - 24, 2023: Mozilla Fest

• March 29 - 30, 2023: Summit for Democracy

• March 2023 - Antigua and Barbuda Election

• March 2023 - Federated States of Micronesia Election

• March 2023 - Guinea Bissau Election

• March 2023 - Sierra Leone Election

• April 30, 2023 - Benin Election

• April 30, 2023 - Paraguay Election

• April 2023 - Andorra Election

• April 2023 - Finland Election

• April 2023 - Montenegro Election

• May 7, 2023 - Thailand Election

• May 15-16: Copenhagen Democracy Summit

• June 5-9: RightsCon

• June 24 - June 30: Aspen Ideas Festival

• June 25, 2023 - Guatemala Election

• June 25, 2023 -Turkey Election

• TBD June: DFR Lab 360/OS

• July 2023 - Cambodia Election

• July 2023 - Timor-Leste Election

• July 2023 - Zimbabwe Election

• August 6, 2023 - Greece Election

• August 2023 - Eswatini Election

• September 27-29, 2023: Athens Democracy Forum

• TBD September: Atlantic Festival

• TBD September: Unfinished Live

• TBD September: Trust Con and Trust/Safety Conference (If they do them again)

• September 2023 - Mauritania Election

• October 8 - 12: Internet Governance Forum - Japan

• October 10, 2023 - Liberia Election

• October 12, 2023 - Pakistan Election

• October 22, 2023 - Switzerland Election

• October 2023 - Argentina Election

• October 2023 - Luxembourg Election

• October 2023 - Oman Election

• November 12, 2023 - Poland Election

• November 20, 2023 - Marshall Islands Election

• November 29, 2023 - Ukraine Election

• November 2023 - Bhutan Election

• November 2023 - Gabon Election

• November 2023 - Rwanda Election

• December 10, 2023 - Spain Election

• December 2023 - Bangladesh Election

• December 2023 - Democratic Republic of the Congo Election

• December 2023 - Togo Election

• TBD - Belarus Election

• TBD - Cuba Election

• TBD - Equatorial Guinea Election

• TBD - Guinea Election

• TBD - Madagascar Election

• TBD - Maldives Election

• TBD - Myanmar Election

• TBD - Singapore Election

• TBD - South Sudan Election - (Unlikely to happen)

• TBD - Turkmenistan Election

• TBD - Tuvalu 

• TBD - Haiti 

• July 15-18, 2024 - Republican National Convention