Sparking creativity through life's lessons

Reflections from the middle of another process on growth and renewal

I’m trying to write a book. I’ve had the idea since 2018, wrote a proposal in 2021, and signed with a hybrid publisher earlier this year, but now I am struggling big time to sit down and write it.

I love writing, and this newsletter brings me joy. I’m writing this on Monday morning, and it wasn’t until late last night, just before I fell asleep, and again this morning, right when I woke up, that I had the idea for this piece. Those bursts of inspiration feel so good.

But yesterday, I was in my feelings. I woke up feeling anxious about the book because I have a check-in meeting with my editor this afternoon, and despite promising more for her to read, all I have are 700 words of crap. I regularly write 1500+ in the blink of an eye weekly. What the hell?

I know, though. I am scared of reliving some pretty hard times in my life - professionally and personally. Twenty-nine was a real bitch for me - that was the 2009/2010 time frame. I know what is coming when I go through the ten years of Facebook. Can I handle going through all of that again? Can I weave it into a story that will resonate with others? Is this just a vanity project? Maybe I should just keep everything tucked away under lock and key.

The Facebook stuff, in particular—for those not familiar, I was running global elections from 2013 to the end of 2019, so it covers Trump’s win in 2016, Russian ads, Cambridge Analytica, and a whole bunch more—has come back up to the surface for me when reading this Wired story about some of what’s been going down at the Integrity Institute.

The Integrity Institute was created three years ago by some of my former Facebook colleagues to support those in the trust and safety space while explaining how some of this worked to those outside of tech—especially policymakers, the media, academia, and civil society. I had a civic integrity institute on my 2020 idea board when I was doing my whole process of what I’d do when I left Facebook, but these guys beat me to the punch, so I signed on thinking I could help.

While I’m still a member, I resigned as senior advisor and head of the elections program at the end of last year when I decided to join Duco. I can relate to what is in the article. I haven’t said much because I find myself still feeling pretty angry, frustrated, pissed off, and sad about the whole ordeal. It was all preventable, and I couldn’t stop it from happening. While I can’t change the past, I’m trying to learn lessons from it to take into the future. 

This is what I want to do with the book, too. How can I take these hard and amazing experiences and turn them into something that helps us think about the future? Am I strong enough to relive them in a way that doesn’t hurt me but sparks new ideas?

The first message came from Meadow at Meadows Crystals. She makes amazing bracelets and necklaces. I got my first custom necklace from her yesterday—a rainbow obsidian from Mexico. Look at this message:

I love it when the universe does this. She’s had this done since May 23, and I got it on June 2. 

This got me thinking, and it got me brainstorming. I read Chani Nicholas' week-ahead horoscope, which said this is a good week for exploring new possibilities, especially around finances and assets. I got a good night's sleep and woke up right at sunrise full of ideas. I sat down to do my daily morning journaling and came up with more.

The book will come when it is good and ready. This is part of the reason I’m financing it myself, not to be beholden to the pressures of a publishing house. I have no interest in putting out something just for the sake of putting something out, I just need to think creatively about the best way to do it. 

As you can see, I’m in the middle of all this. I know many of you are in your own lives as well. I’m reading an advanced copy of a friend’s book coming out soon, and she makes a great point about how things have been moving so fast we haven’t had time to process them nor create new societal or cultural norms to deal with them. And things are only going to get faster.

I’ll give you an example of creativity through adversity shared with me Sunday night by a good friend. I was talking to her about how maybe someday I’d like to put together retreats for people - a chance to connect in a world where we spend so much time online and by ourselves. Loneliness is a huge problem right now.

She sent me this clip of Sam Altman being asked what kinds of jobs might be created in the next 5-10 years. He predicts that “there's going to be a huge market and premium on "human, in-person, fantastic experiences."

While these types of things do exist now, this makes sense. Look at how people gravitate back to vinyl albums and other analog experiences. AI will change the world, but rather than retreating even further into our online caves, maybe more of us will figure out how to take those lessons and find a flow between the online and offline worlds. Maybe that’s where I’m called to work next. Still figuring that out.

Writing this is helping me through some tough stuff, and I hope it helps you, too. Sometimes, it is just nice to know you are not alone.

And to my editor - I promise I’ll get my shit together. 

PS: I know there’s been some interesting things happening in the just-concluded elections—especially in India, where Modi and his party did not get as many votes as expected and now will have to form a coalition government. We’ll break that all down next week.

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